How to love myself?

I HATE THE WAY I LOOK NOW. I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF... I HATE MYSELF!

*~*~*How to love myself? How to?*~*~*

The Ups & Downs in Life...

Experiencing the downs in my life now. I have not meant for this to happen. But it just happened. The longer it drags, the scarier it becomes. Getting very worried and terrified. Gotta face the music someday. The sooner the better, the less torturous it is.

Could the Ups & Downs in life be conquer with sheer determination and perseverance? If so, then I really need to gather all that I could to overcome this.

Argghhh... Feeling so terrible now... I wish for a cave to hide in. But I can't avoid this forever. This situation gives me a very bad headache everytime I think of it. Bad.. What is happening?

What will the outcome be? Will I feel more relieved after that? I hope so, be it bad or good.

*~*~*Give me the strength to carry on.*~*~*

Murphy's Law says... ...

Everything seems to become blurry to me. I don't know what I am doing though I know what I should be doing. My 'working factory' starting to stall. (Cough..poof...sssss...) Feel sick & tired.

Where did my passion lies in? Suddenly, I have no idea. Some years ago. I see myself as a poor girl working like hell and studying very hard. Struggling. But it feels good. The satisfaction of doing a wonderful job drives my motivation to work happily almost everyday. The goal that I had set seems nearer each day. Life was pretty good then.

A new job and a new goal drives me on again. Although suffered humiliation, I kept quiet and pushed on and on. Reaching my targeted goal. I must not give up. And I reached that goal.

Here I am. Halfway through that goal... Somewhere, it wasn't what it seems to be. Is it really my goal? Life isn't that tedious already. But, why is everything going the wrong way? My brain is not working well. I have no idea what it is hinking about. I'm no longer that sure where I'm heading...

Where is that passion and determination? That drive, that motivation. Did I set too high a goal? I don't believe so. Then where did it went wrong? Where?

*~*~*Where is my guiding light? Have you dim on me again?*~*~*