Life is... ...

Life's so troublesome... Studies, careers, money, marriage, family even die you'll have to plan too. Study for the sake of future. It's one big investment. Career is the one that helps to roll in the bucks. When there's enough bucks and a potential life partner, marriage will be next. After marriage? Family. Kids, a place to call home. When old, you will want to draft will, plan funeral & decide where you will want be bury or cremate. There's so much to think about.

Everyday, nag nag nag. Everyday, work work work. Everyday, think think think. Life's so troublesome. So troublesome... ...

Having headache with studies and work. Now? another one more. I don't know what is wrong. It's so scary. The scale can tip easily. Got to be very carefull at all times. A little too much can kills. Life's so troublesome.

Why am I not enjoying life anymore? I want to enjoy life just like before. Wake up in the morning happily, looking forward to everything. Welcome all challenges and tackle them with ease. Where is that lively energy? It's all gone...

*~*~*Life is so troublesome. Can I restart everything?*~*~*

The storm after the calm...

Storm comes and goes in a blink of an eye. Has it really gone away? I hope so.

Went to Loyang Tua Pek Gong Temple today with friends. Pray for? Always, without fail, pray for my family to be safe and in good health. Today, I pray for myself for the first time. Pray for good health, career and that I can finish my studies smoothly. Ah! I forgotten about happiness. Boooo... Well, if I got what I pray for and be satisfied, I should be happy anyway, shouldn't I?

Why do people pray?Pray for a hope. A hope that their wishes will come true. Without hope, how will life be? Hope is important. I wish... I hope... I pray...

Working hard and smart is still needed. Add in a bit of luck. Dreams might not be just dreams after all isn't it? Am I working hard and smart enough? Working towards hard and smart. I need to believe in myself more. I need to be more optimistic. Life will be happier I guess.

Ganbatte!


*~*~*Then what comes after the storm?*~*~*

钱买不到的，不会是我的。钱买得到的，也不会有我的。

想为自己买一点点的快乐和解脱。我错了吗?真的错了吗?不是机会来了要把握吗?是我搞错了吗?真的错了吗?真的错了。。。不是你的真的不能强求。我想要的到底是什么?为什么到现在还不清楚自己要的是什么?为什么频频出错?可恶的眼泪在眼眶里徘徊。下定了心不让泪水轻易落下的我，强忍着把泪往肚里吞。。。

我知道这样的做法不太对。不只是你会不赞成。是我又错了吧?我到底在心烦什么?可恶的烦恼整晚在我脑海里盘旋着，害我无法入眠。是我想太多了吧?

我想。。。人要量力。有的就珍惜。没有的也不要想太多。可能这样会过得比较快乐吧。。。

现在，什么都不用想了。

*~*~*想要得到辛福。真的好难。是我又错了吗?*~*~*

Insomnia

It's 4.06am. I still can't sleep. Too much thoughts troubling my mind. I can't sleep. I ponder and wonder. I think and worry. I question and ask. Is it or is it not? Can I or can I not? Should I or should I not? Will I or will I not? Would it be or would it be not?

It should be the right move isn't it? If it is, why am I so troubled? What am I worrying about? Aren't that all unnecessary? Why think about these when it has not or maynot happen? Why make my poor brain work over-time? I must be crazy giving myself all these pressure. Isn't life stressful enough already?

I have to learn to slow down and relax. If only situations allow... I will... I just tried to encourage myself to cheer up previously and here I go again. Sinking into the dark pit of worries and sadness. Someone, please fill up the pit for me so that I will not fall into it again if I did not watch my steps. It's a terrible place to be.


Sleep. I need sleep. Decent sleep. Peaceful sleep. Knock me out please....


*~*~*To be or not to be. Who gets to decide?*~*~*