Yup. Another month has gone by. Nothing new... Time always fly past without letting you know that it's going away and never to come back. Suddenly, had this thought coming into my mind. The past made me who I am today. Today become the past of what's I'm gonna become in future.Sound simple? Or does it sound complicated? Often, I felt, the simplest thing is the hardest to explain and understand.
I hate the past which made me become who I am today. But I also thanks the past for what I am today. The past had past. But it always linger around to haunt you or remind you why You are you today.
I believe, the day I die, I surely die without a heart full of regrets. How I wish the regrets are memory instead of regrets. I could have let them become memory if only I have chosen a better path. Is it fated that things turn out this way? Is there a higher power looking down upon us and decide what we should do and become?
Twon days ago, someone told me,he could sleep peacefully because he believe he has say and done the right thing to someone. That someone who don't accept what he did wouldn't have a nice sleep. I went home, and I fell asleep right away.
Are there really such things as friends? You treat people the way you want people to treat you isn't it? It's what I have learnt but I have not seen. I've been there done that. I know one shouldn't expect returns.. But I can't help feeling disappointed. It's upsetting.
You want people to respect you, first of all, you must respect yourself. I finally get to understand this. It's not easy. I've been trying... It seems that just trying is not enough. Everyone wants the results fast. Often neglected the process. Often forget that there must be a start. A chance to being. I don't have the chance to begin. It makes me wonder. What am I? Who am I?
I often felt being pretty helps alot in whatever things you gonna do. It's becoming a strong belief. I'm getting disappointed. Everyday gone by with bits of disappointment adding up. If I can do an account statement for disappointment, I'm sure it's gonna be alot.
What have I become? Why have I become so pessimistic? I don't want to be...
I'm sad... Depressed. No one knows. Well, nowadays, masks are human basic need. I have masks too. Often use them to hide my unhappiness, resentment.Is it good or bad? I have no one to share my troubles with. There's no one that can share a heart to heart talk with. I hide them away. In my heart, in my diary,here( coz I believe no one read my blog anyway), anywhere dark and lonely...Where no one can see.
Maybe someday, I'll just start talking to walls and floors..To doors and windows. To sky and earth. To sea and wind...
