Friends

Friends. I need friends. I love my friends. They are so important to me. Sometimes it takes people quite long time to know how important someone is to them. Sometimes only when something happened, will we know how important someone is to us.

Recently, just recently, something bad happened. The storm hit me. I'm thrown about in the dark seas with big waves threatening to drown me. Out of sudden. Help arrived. These people, are whom I really call Friends. The support and encouragement they gave me. I cannot thank them enough. The help I've got, I'll never forget. I never forget the kindness that I've got. I'll repay them when I can. I so much wanna say their names out. But I prefer to keep them in my heart. I pray for their health and happiness. This friendship shall never sink. It will sail forever and ever, life after life.

However, the people whom I thought will show that equal support and encouragement, never show up. Maybe they don't know.I don't know what to say or how to feel. I can't say I feel hurt or anything. Because, I have this bunch of pals there for me all the time. They are always there, all the time. I don't know what I have done to deserve them. They are one of the greatest to me in life. I don't know if they know how I feel of them. Maybe they feel it's nothing. But to me, it's everything.

Sometimes, it take just a simple gesture to touch someone's heart. My heart has felt this simple gesture. This simple gesture just comes sincerely true from the heart, with no intention of touching hearts and rewards. I've been fortunate enough to feel this in this life.

I don't how I can repay them. All I can is to treasure this friendship and treat them sincerely.

Do they know who they are? Hahaha.. I hope so...

Dancing

Feel like picking up dancing again. Wanna try a new form of dance but I don't dare. No confidence, not brave enough. Envious of those who can dance so freely. Maybe I think and worry too much to really let go and dance. Even hiding in my room to dance, I also worry too much. To think that I had dance for quite a few years already. Ballet and chinese dance wise, I'm not afraid to show. The other kinds like jazz hiphop and others more happening and sexy dancing... I don't dare. Too self-concious already.. Haiz.... What to do??

Recalling

Gone were those days where the only worry is about exams. Gone were those days where time is occupied only by school and dancing. Gone were those days where everything is so simple and happy. Now in the present. Things have changed. Am I able to cope with drastic changes? See? Even the weather is changing. It's getting chilly.

Miss the schoolling days. I get to see all my friends everyday. Unlike now. It's so hard to meet up with people. Everyone is always busy with something. Maybe the day I'll get to see most of my friends will fall on the day I die. Who knows? It's usually that occasion that people what is lost and gone, and will never be back.

Everyday, dragging lazy body and blurry eyes to the bus-stop. Waiting for bus with a friend. Go to school. Morning assembly at parade square. Climb stairs to class room. Finally, cooling fan. Boring classes+interesting classes=homework and dozing off. Hahaha.. Recess. Yummy~ Hungry. Noodles, soup, rice, sandwiches, drinks, tibits. Back to class finishing up the rest of the lesson. After school activity? Dance practices. Always preparing for performances and competition. Tiring and fufilling. Sometimes, depressed. But when the performance ended. I'll miss the practices. Went home and drop dead tired into the sofa. Shower and eat dinner. Do homework. Sleep and recalled the day that has just ended. Typical school day.

Quite routine. But at least there's much lesser worries. Now? worried about job, money, relationships. Started to think a lot more. Less naive. But the more I grow the lesser I know. The everchanging society. Paper certification overrules experience and sincerity. Money, the root of all evil. True. Pleasure must have been a possession of the devil. Money can buy most pleasure. Looks attracts pleasure. Unsightly beings are outcasted. Unfair is how the world works. The scales is never balance. There's always a heavier side.

The year is ending. What had been done had been done. What is over is over. What I can do now is to recall. What have I done all these while? It's time for the report card to be sign. My results? Failed. Job=F Money=F paper certification=F Friends=P Relationship=P Family=P Fun=P Memories(good and bad)= Distinction 3 of the more important subjects considered by this society: I failed with flying colors. Moral and civics subjects: I barely passed. But with some many things happened through this year, I have a lot to think and recall. Mental subject=Passed with outrageous flying colors.

Hoping the next year report card will be filled with happier colors...

Christmas preparations?

Last night, I hand-written quite a few x'mas cards for friends. Afterwhich, I handmade 2. Kinda tough. Sticky. All that glue. But, I'm rather fairly satisfied with the results. I'm sure, I can do better. Before I did all these, I was updating and compiling all my friends' contacts. It's a long list. Seems like I have quite a few friends. But who can I really talk to? Who do I really meet up and have fun? Me? I can't make so many cards and send them to everyone. I'll need a production line then. My creative juices will run dry very fast. I chosen a few 'lucky ones' though. Wait till they get the cards. I hope they like it though, coz it's just some cheap stuff put together. Cost of items: Cheap Efforts+time+ideas+energy:Priceless
My poor back and neck.Aching like hell. Later, I'll contiune again. Looks like I've plenty of time more. But I'll have to mail out those going overseas soon. I hope the overseas cards will be just in time. (^-^)

A storm that hits twice

Damn! The storm! It hit me twice. Now I'm so badly hurt and angry. What have I done to deserve this? After all these years of hard work, am I just nothing but a passer-by? After all that I have put in for the company, is this all I deserve to get? All that hard work and no returns. Not even a 'thank you'.... Now this. I had to leave. The reason you gave me. If it's true, then I'll have nothing to say. But!! Liars!! It's so untrue and hurting. I'm so damn hurt and angry. No amount of ice can cool me down. I've never felt so hurt and angry before. Never! Damn liars!!!!

A dark cloud had come.

Witch! You broke my only financial support. What do you have to gain by doing this? You are so black-hearted. You could have seen and been through more things than me, but you? You have a heart narrower than the roadside drain, a mouth smellier than a choked toilet bowl. You spoil my view and spoil my mood. But, you will not be any obstacle to my dreams for I'll never let you get in my way. Not that you have the power to, for your power, or rather, your witchcraft is limited to that narrow area as narrow as your heart. For now, I have been set free and I'm free to soar the skies and roam the earth. As for you. You will stay in your own dark, narrow castle and rot for the rest of your life, with no love and respect and no true friends. For you have the poison mouth and no one will want to stay beside you. I damn you! Rot away and stay out of my sight. You wouldn't get away with this.

The temporary light of mine has been blown out by you. Why do want want to drag me into you dark world? You are lonely because you are wicked. I'm not going to rot with you in your heartless world. Rot there yourself. My friends have thrown me a rope and save me from your dark world. We will live happily everafter.

You? I curse you! Witch!!!