At this very moment... ...

I feel like crying. I really do... The tear ducts are stuck, or something. I felt a dull ache within my chest and deep in my heart. It's horrible to feel this way. I need to get it all out.

What is causing all these? Work? Ya, work. I'm not doing as well as I thought I should or I could. It's disappointing and demoralising. It's almost a month now. Whay are I still stumbling around? Where's my alertness? I seems to have lost my eye for details. Where are all the carefulness, efficency? Are they all left behind somewhere?

It's getting tiring. Friends said," Take it slow. Don't worry." It's not about the speed. It's just me and myself. I get very upset with myself when I'm not able to get things done well. My mind don't seems to be functioning that well. What happened? What happened?

I'm not working smart enough. I realised I kept saying that I can't do this, I can't do that. I don't believe in myself enough. If I don't believe in myself, then who will? Seriously in need of a change in mindset.

"Hold on tight. I'll pull through...I will... I must... I can..."